Living large... my legs that is...

Have you seen elephant feet/legs? Mine are resembling those lately. (The get wider the closer to your toes you get!) The past few days they have decided that they need to swell up constantly! I am lucky that almost knee high winter boots are still fashionable cause that helps hide these unsightly things! Last night while getting ready for bed I took my socks off only to have a PERFECT sock pattern indented in my legs and ankles. The socks had helped suction in that part of my leg a bit but it still resembled an old fashioned rollercoaster with lots of ups and downs in. I should have taken a picture cause it was sad and hilarious at the same time. My mom keeps telling me to wear compression socks and I just can't bring myself to go to down that road. I will give my legs a bit of credit today though cause they didn't get a break at all. I finally had a day of no appointments or anywhere I had to be and I cleaned ALL day from 7:30 this morning till 9 pm tonight. I got all sorts of things done! All the sheets are washed on the beds, kitchen floor cleaned (I had to wait till the kids went to bed for this one cause I get so disappointed knowing it gets ruined 20 seconds after I am done when they are awake. At least this way it will be at least 6-8 hours before a spill happens!), some dusting done, house vacuumed, garage swept out, lots of picking up, etc... It was amazing the energy I had today! It has been SO long since I have been able to do all of those things in a day. I could barely walk upstairs to shower but I made it!!! Unfortunately there is still more to do (bathrooms and such) but who needs to worry about at this moment?!

On to other things. Last night Bryce and I were able to finally go out for Valentine's Day! He took me up to Park City to do some shopping and have a little dinner. I have been looking for a bag to use as a diaper bag and I wanted something that fit my personality and could handle all of the horrible beatings I put it through. I found one online at Wilson's Leather and of course the only store in Utah is in Park City! He was sweet to happily take me up there and act interested as I also looked for nursing bras. I did about pass out though when he suggested looking in Banana Republic for a pair of dress shoes for him!!! I couldn't believe it! Here is the man that would rather throw up than go into that store and he suggested going in! Needless to say that we ended up finding him some shoes for a great deal there. (I love the outlets cause it is the only time I can afford to even browse that store!) I am sure that he will still joke and tease, "Is that cashmere???" when I buy something from there. We were in there one time when a guy went nuts over a cashmere scarf he saw that was more money that my entire outfit I had on. Anyway... after shopping we went to an italian restaurant that we had a buy one get one free coupon for. Its a good thing that we had a coupon! I have never been to a restaurant this nice before! The first questions asked were, "Do you have a reservation?" and "Can I check in your coat for you?" Definitely not our style of places we like to go but the food was REALLY good and it worked out price wise with our coupon. We probably were one of the only ones in the restaurant not drinking wine though! Glad the ice water was free! :) We had a great time and a memorable experience.

I love these!!! And I think the baby likes them too! I snuck one out of the pantry tonight just before I sat down to read with the kids. I had to inhale it fast to not be caught eating it and no sooner had I swallowed than the baby started going nuts in my stomach. Is it possible for him to have a sugar rush? I just had to laugh. The kids loved being able to feel him moving all around. Then Braxton asked if he could hear us and I told him, "yes." They then all started talking to Mason. Braxton told him about the bouncy ball he made for him out of playdough today at preschool. It is cute cause it is "baby" sized compared to the other ones he made. Abbey has it all planned out on babysitting everyone (including the baby) so I can have a nap after I have him. Landen said that he will share is wet wipes with the baby.

The kids are cute at this age in so many ways. It is nice that by 8 pm our house is silent as they are all in bed for the night. I love this peace and it helps me get ready for another crazy day. One of my most favorite things to do is sit in the tub with REALLY hot water and soak my aching body. Since my internal heater has kicked in w/ this baby I don't want the REALLY hot water like I normally would. Bryce always warns me that I am slowly cooking our babies but the other 3 have turned out fine (and my stomach is so large it doesn't fit in the water anyway!) that I am not too worried. I am probably just selfish on that one but it is nice to not have my legs throb anymore when I am in the tub. I have been cursed with horrible vericose veins when I am pregnant. Fun stuff huh?! Well, I am down to 3 weeks and 6 days till my due date. My doctor did an exam last week and I was dialated to a 1! I try not to get my hopes up but those attempts are failing. This appointment must have triggered a thing or two cause now my body has been a little crampy. I go through this every time, weeks of cramping and nothing to show for it. I guess it gets me ready for the end so I don't wish to stay pregnant. Anyway- life is good today. I was able to sleep through the night last night!!! WAHOOO!!! We can only hope for two nights in a row. We will see.

"Note" worthy

It has been 9 months since Abbey started taking piano lessons and she has finally got the metronome down! Most days I have wanted to pull my hair out as we listen to her practice but it was definitely music to my ears to hear her playing her notes exactly on the tick of the metronome!!! She is enjoying playing the piano and sits down several times a day to pound out a few favorite tunes. Abbey is currently trying to learn how to play "I am a Child of God." This is for sure beyond her current level but since she is so interested I sat down to start teaching her the right hand. Family Home Evening will get some more spice now! :) We could use a bit of piano to help drown out my hopeless off-key voice. Anyway- I am excited for Abbey and can't wait to see her talent develop!!!

I can finally breathe!... (not literally though)

The last few months have been rough for me. I knew that we were supposed to have another baby and it took me a while after Landen to feel ready to take on that experience again. I was excited when we got pregnant and wasn't totally prepared for how sick I would feel for the first trimester. I made it through that as I told myself that I could do this cause it was my last time. I felt like I was only a few inches underground in life and could come out from this. THEN... Bryce got a new position at T-Mobile that required almost weekly traveling to somewhere in the USA and generally longer office hours. This tested me a bit more and I felt like I had sunk down another bit underground. I think that this is when I started to panic a bit but didn't totally realize it. To make sure that I could top off a complete panic attack... I received my calling for relief society, a realization through specific feelings that this ISN'T our last child and then we found out that this baby appears to be a VERY active boy (as I am struggling with trying to get the two boys we have to stay entertained with something other than fighting with each other.) NOW I am feeling 6 feet under and don't know how to dig myself out of it. I can't change ONE thing on my stress list. I have to have a plan and for these things I didn't have a plan to help my feelings. I am not good with this stuff. I don't like to struggle... but who does?

I can't totally explain exactly what changed. I still have all of the same responsibilities on my plate but I think my perspective changed a bit. I was able to take a step back and notice how much Abbey and Braxton can do for themselves and to help me. Landen was sick this weekend and we didn't make his bed once or twice... and guess what?!... it was OKAY! Life still went on and Landen didn't care one bit that he didn't have to make his bed (believe it or not). :) There are a bunch of other things that I realized too:

*My life will slow down when I have a baby... but it isn't going to end like I have felt like it would.

*I think that my kids will be okay to watch a bit more tv or such to give me a minute to myself.

*Bryce is happier with his job and doesn't need to motorbike quite so much to get a stress relief.

*Bryce can now take the older 3 kids motorbiking all at the same time!!! :)

I still know that I don't do well without good sleep. It isn't easy for me to have a newborn baby but I can finally say that I am excited for him to come! I wonder if it is possible to have "prepartum" blues... cause looking back at it all... I think that I did.

I can now breathe a sigh of emotional relief and I am excited for when the baby comes and I can phycically breathe again too (without heartburn!) 5 weeks and counting!

Something to be proud of...

I am in the nesting stage which means I am stressed to get things checked off my list. One thing I was given as a gift for Landen was a homemade hooded towel. I have absolutely loved it and wanted one for this baby. I finally sat down a few weeks ago, examined Landen's towel over and over and then tried to recreate it. I am not good w/ sewing directions so I just like to do it my way! Here is the result:

I wished that I had the skill to stitch something cute on the hood of the towel but I don't and have come to terms that it will stay plain. That's ok. I am a plain person anyway. I guess that if for some totally crazy switch this baby comes out a girl... I am still safe to use the towel.

One other thing I finished was adding a few decorations to the boys' room. It has sat with bare walls for a few years and here it is now:

Braxton picked out the skateboarding stickers and of course we had to add a few motorbikes into the mix. They boys seem to like it and I am happy with it. I would LOVE to buy Landen a matching quilt like Braxton's but the cheapskate in me is having a hard time justifying the money for that when it technically isn't needed. I just keep telling myself that it doesn't really matter. I mean Landen has a pink unicorn on his bed with his favorite animal, the yellow CareBear, Tenderheart. He loves them so I remind myself that he loves what he has and that needs to be ok.

On a more positve note...

I didn't mean for my last entry to sound so negative or depressing. I just want to remember a bit about what my daily life is like this very second. I always think that I will remember everything and I don't!

Anyway- a few exciting things from this week! We finally found a new car! On Friday we bought a white 2006 Toyota Sequoia. It has only taken us a few months of looking but we are picky! I am excited that it came with a grey interior and it seems nice so far! I would take a picture of it but we drove it to Idaho this weekend and it is dirty. I need to get it washed and take a picture. We have had some sort of stomach bug around our house this week and some of these little extras just dropped off the important "to do" list.

Braxton had his kindergarten check-up and shots today. He did really well and was very brave. He weighed in just over 43 lbs and a hair shy of 46". This puts his height at the 88th percentile for his age and his weight around the 60th percentile range. He is growing up so much!

I also had a check-up for the baby as well. I am measuring well and the baby still has a good heartbeat. The doctor thinks he will be about 8 lbs so delivery should be cake! I have one more 2-week appointment and then it is every week from there! AHHHHH! I feel so unprepared! I had to go to walmart and pick up a package of binkis and some nursing pads to help me feel a big better. I need to sit down and make my list of stuff I still need and just go shopping so I won't panic anymore. I try to remind myself that I will have an extra week or two since I am sure this baby will be late but that doesn't help the OCD side in me that wants everything organized and in place well before it is needed.

One other good appointment I had today was the orthodontist! I don't have to wear the obnoxious rubber bands during the day time anymore! My midline (the line between my two front teeth) has finally lined up on top and bottom!!! It was nice to eat dinner tonight and be able to open my mouth as far as I wanted without getting snapped in the lips with my rubber band breaking on me! What will my family do for mid-dinner entertainment now?

It was nice to have a good day. They boys both behaved very well at all of our appointments and we were lucky enough to have Bryce's dad down here from Idaho for a visit. The kids absolutely love him to death! (And so do Bryce and I.) Braxton went to bed all teary-eyed that he didn't get to have a "guys night" with Grandpa cause Bryce hogged him all day. Tim was sweet enough to promise him one-on-one time tomorrow right after preschool. Braxton can hardly wait!

Oh- one more thing that I always want to remember. Abbey loves to leave secret notes or treats for people. Today there was a little snack sized back stuck on the front door w/ a magnet for me. Inside were two tiny pieces of air heads with a note from a secret person. She thinks that she is so tricky and sneaky. Not even two seconds after that she tells me about buying airheads at Macey's grocery store today while she was with Bryce. I teased her that the treats must have been from her then and she jumped right up to deny any such allegations. Braxton then tried to tell me that it was her and she flipped out at the very thought that she might be discovered. I just had to laugh. She is sweet of her to think of others and it is funny to watch how sneaky she THINKS she is being!

Life As I Know It...

I never could have imagined how hard it would be to be a mother. It is the most emotional, physical and mentally challenging thing I have ever done. One of the hardest things so far is watching the kids get frustrated at challenges they face and to know that they have to learn to do it themselves cause me doing it for them isn't going to help them in their life.

Abbey is learning to play the piano. She likes to do it her way... need I say more? She is doing well and it is fun to see her get excited when she masters a song. It has been hard to keep my patience as she makes a million mistakes and I just have to sit at the keys myself to remind me that it is easier to sit and criticize than to play. Another few months and she will probably pass up my level!

Braxton is relearning how to tie his shoes. He had it down well at the beginning of the school year and wasn't forced to practice so he forgot. We are working on that again and boy is this a tough one! For some reason he likes to wrap the laces "backwards" from the way that I do it and it is hard to get on the same page. He gets frustrated very quickly with anything he doesn't master right away. (Sounds a lot like his mother!)

Landen is anything but interested in potty training. He has found a hobby that he likes that has been a mental life saver for me! Landen loves Braxton's "super hero" guys and the castle that goes with them. He also loves to play with little dinosaurs and will play by himself for over 2 hours without losing interest. The ONLY catch though is that he likes to play by HIMSELF. If Braxton even walks close to him a screaming fit ensues like his arm was chopped off. I tried to sit down with them yesterday to teach them how to play together. It went well till I got up and left and then it was back to fits and fighting.

Some days I wonder if I am going to survive the zoo around here and especially as we add a baby to it all. I mostly post this though cause I am assuming that parenting is only going to get more complicated as the kids get older and I will look back at these little frustrations and wish I could have them back!

I am totally aware that I have 3 fantastic kids who really try hard to choose the right and are full of love and smiles. Hopefully this 4th one will come as healthy as the other three have. Just 7 weeks left till my due date!