Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Shouldn't have put it in writing...

Since I wrote down some goals for better spirituality a few days ago my progress has gone down the toilet. Hmmmm... wonder why? Things have been a bit hectic around here but I am mad that I get sucked into stuff on the computer or my phone. Here I am journaling when I should be doing my scripture study. I pulled out my laptop to work on some relief society stuff... and the computer was having a hard time pulling up my email... so I thought I would do a quick blog entry... which I did... then did relief society stuff...then read a few blogs... and here I am making another post. I can only be mad at myself. Now I am so tired that I just want to go to sleep. But can I sleep feeling guilty that I didn't make the best choices? I was too lazy to go downstairs to get my scriptures to read while waiting for my computer to wake up and respond. I am going to quit being a baby, get out of bed, put in my retainer and go grab my scriptures. I will sleep so much better.

One more thing... totally random but completely exciting! My sister-in-law, Celeste, had her baby boy a few mintues ago!!! They are going to name him Brayden. I love that name! (That was what I wanted to name Braxton and Bryce had a fit.) I am all excited!!! :)

Moments to remember....

Landen was all excited yesterday to go to preschool until he realized I wasn't going to be the one driving him. He got all emotional and pleaded for me to take him myself. It broke my heart but I knew he would be ok. Later that day we were talking about carpooling again to get him more comfortable with the idea. I asked him why he wanted me to drive him so bad every day and he said, "Cause you are the bestest mom ever!" AWWWWW! Thanks Landen!

The other night Abbey was sleep walking and was trying to put the poptarts away in the pantry from the kitchen counter. Bryce went down and asked her what she was doing and she acted all put out that he would even ask at midnight was she was doing with poptarts in the kitchen. I think that she might have been a bit stressed that her deadline was fast approaching for having her room "dejunked" and it was spilling over into her dreams and the kitchen!

Also the same night Abbey was insistent on putting away poptarts in her sleep she came ALL the way upstairs to use the bathroom. (I say ALL the way cause she passed a much more convient bathroom along the way) Instead of going into the bathroom though she opened the linen closet and was trying to walk in. The shelves were in the way and she was a bit confused why it wasn't working out for her. I was dying laughing in bed and Bryce had to get up to help her cause I couldn't stop laughing. Even now I am chuckling to myself just remembering about it.

Braxton seems to have made a little friend, Matthew, in kindergarten. I am excited to meet him and I hope that they can be good little friends. Braxton needs some more little guys he can play with.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

September 12, 2010

I have to start off by saying that the rest of my week has gone much smoother since my September 8th post. It has been really nice to have Bryce back home and the "bodily accidents" haven't happened again. I am fighting off some sort of cold that is wiping my energy, but I will survive.

Yesterday morning Braxton had another soccer game and scored 3 goals! He was WAY excited. It is funny because he never plays around with a soccer ball and doesn't even really talk about soccer all week but he absolutely loves to go to practice and play in the games. I think that he is loving having something that he excels in. I think it is good for him to have non-stop running for an hour!

Today we were able to go to our regional stake conference. It is always a bit of a challenge to keep 4 little ones quiet and happy for 2 solid hours but I thought that they did quite well. (The starburst every 1/2 hour and a few random skittles here and there didn't hurt to keep them quiet.) Anyway, it was an inspiring meeting. I don't know the name of the guy who spoke first but he talked about remembering & renewing. It made me reflect on what kind of person I am trying to be and to remember to be that person in every situation that I am placed. To remember what I have been taught and to continue to renew my testimony cause if it isn't kept current it won't hold up to the challenges of today. I hadn't really thought about it in that way.

Julie Beck, the general relief society president, spoke about us understanding that we are "doing better than we think we are" and also that we need to do more. That was a bit confusing to me. It made me feel good when she reminded us how truly hard it is to be a mom and that it is a lot of work. I think that this is the "doing better than we think we are" part. Then she also told us that we need to not spend so much time on the computer or other technical devices. Our kids / families are needing us to nuture them and we could be doing more of that if we would unplug more. The computer needs to be a tool like our dishwashers & washing machines are. I don't feel like I have much of an issue as far as the computer goes but definately thought I could cut back a bit on being on my phone reading emails or texting.

Elder Holland then followed with some amazing pioneer stories. The faith, dedication & determination they had was amazing but he reminded us that we have to have more than they did to make it in these days. Am I focusing on the important stuff to be personally prepared and to prepare my family for the temptations of the devil? He is so sly and one of my biggest challenges he presents to me is to fill my time with unimportant things that seem important.

President Packer was the final speaker. What a sense of humor that man has! I was cracking up at all of his little comments. It was fun to see a little bit more relaxed side of him. He told some fun stories but also has such a great spirit with him and sense of love for people. You can't help but love him.

I walked away with a renewed determination to try harder to strengthen my testimony by prioritizing scripture study and personal prayer over facebook, bubble popper on my phone or tv. I also have a renewed determination to show my family how much I truly do love them with the time I spend with them, the tone of my voice, attitude in my repsonses, saying "please" and "thank you" more and overall having a greater sense of patience. I know that this won't happen overnight... and I won't be perfect at it... but I can improve and it is important to me to try.

Well, so much for my small entry. I was just going to type a paragraph or two and I always get a bit carried away. I am going to head to bed and hope my pounding headache will subside too. I feel a migraine coming on... I think I am turning into my mother! I have been getting more of them lately and I think it is from lack of good solid sleep. Anyway- here I am ranting again! Good night!!!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

September 8, 2010

The day is almost over. I didn't know if I was going to survive the day or not! I have been completely drained of energy the past few days and with Bryce being gone to California for work... it isn't helping. I also haven't been able to get more than 2 hours of sleep without being woken up by one thing or another. Usually it is Mason waking up but if it isn't him, it has been one of our other 3 kids waking up with nightmares or sleepwalking. Last night Mason was actually sleeping really well and of course Braxton wasn't. He had gotten up several times scared and he had no idea what he was scared of. After putting him back to bed several times I was exhausted and gave in to have him sleep in my bed. I figured it wouldn't be that big of a deal since there truly was space with Bryce being gone. I didn't count on Braxton getting a horrible bloody nose sometime in the night and getting blood ALL over my bed. Just when I thought that I had almost gotten a handle on the laundry. To make matters worse... this was discovered as I had realized that I had turned off my alarm and had overslept till 7:15 am and was WAY behind on getting everything going to get kids off to school. We made it to school on time and with some of the chores finished. Life got a bit more peaceful as I plugged along and folded clothes all morning. (We have tons of laundry from our Christensen reunion up at Island Park this past weekend.) I had to keep telling myself to take things one step at a time and not freak out that my entire house is a disaster and I have no energy. I was blessed to be able to take a nap this afternoon for a little while and that was VERY nice! I don't think I would have made it without it. It helped me keep my patience when Landen woke up from his nap and had wet his bed... more clothes to wash and complete bedding to clean up. I can do this. Now it is time to shuttle everyone to the car to take Braxton to karate. He absolutely LOVES it so it makes the work worth it. We then dropped him off to Porter's friend birthday party and headed home. Abbey then had a meltdown when I remind her that she needs to find her library book that is due (and is lost). Landen goes upstairs to hang up his shirts while I feed Mason some baby cereal. Not more than a few minutes later I call up to Landen to ask him how he is doing. He responds back that he has pooped his pants. REALLY!?!?! Do I need this?! He isn't done pooping but it is all over his legs and clothing. Mason is crying cause he wants me to keep feeding him. Abbey is bawling downstairs cause she is still trying to find her book (in all of her clutter). I decided to just sit Landen down on the toilet as he is still covered in poop, wash my hands and go back to feeding Mason. Mason is doing really well eating and didn't bat an eyelash having baby peas mixed in with his rice cereal & formula. (He has had peas for over two weeks now.) He did shiver and pull a horrible face though when I gave him a spoon full of just peas. I guess he is just more of a squash guy cause he can't ever get enough of that. Now it is back to cleaning and bathing Landen. He is bawling over having to put his pj's on so early in the evening but I am not about to add one more outfit to my already mounting laundry pile and it isn't that far away from bedtime.

Somehow I managed to squeeze in getting dinner fixed (meatloaf & banana squash--from our garden). Nothing fancy but tonight I just needed to have something easy. We finished off the night with baths for the rest of the kids, scripture study w/ the kids and a chapter in "The tales of the fourth grade nothing." We called Bryce to say goodnight and he talked to me long enough to get a load of dishes going before I collapsed. So why am I journaling right now...???? I went to crash on the bed and realized I hadn't dried the sheets yet. They were still in the washer from getting the blood out this morning.

It is on days like today that I wonder what in the world I signed up for when I decided that I wanted to be a mom. But it is the excited wide open gummer smiles from Mason at the sight of me, mandatory hugs and kisses from the boys at both naptime and bedtime and Abbey wishing that I could come to the school to cook squash for school lunch ("cause I make it the best ever... along with Grandma Bezzant") that makes my job worth it.

My kids are growing up so fast. Before I know it they won't be around to cause such issues and I will be ever so lonely. Landen is helping me realize that even more. Tomorrow is his 2nd day of preschool and he has told me that he doesn't need me to walk in with him anymore. He can do it himself. It makes me want to laugh and cry all at the same time. I am glad he feels confident but I wasn't expecting him to actually TELL me to not go in to drop him off! He is barely 3!

The dryer has just finished. I am now going to drag my tired body upstairs, make the bed and crash. I just pray that all of the kids will stay asleep and our day will go a bit smoother tomorrow!